Vampirs
by xX420DedVampre420Xx
Summary: i klike vampirs so give me good reveiws and i wi.ll make more vampir stuff.
1. Chapter 1

Deth

Chaptr 1

I am a vamopire. I lik to suck blodd. I am also in luv. Whemn I no I will nevr be luvd, I banged my hed aganst the wall repedetly. I am varyy suisidle. I am 12222373498rt68945348956389 years old.

1 day I was walking down the stret when I cam across this sexee vampire and I was all like

'u so sexey man. His name wus edwerd. He had pail skin anmd he was verey shinny.

My n ame is bela I sad sexily/ edwerd took of his shirt and we haad seccx.

'oh ya oh ya that ez good stuff mann.' I said. Suddenly a wherewolf jumped out. It was jakob. He said 'hey babe, u look fiiiiiikiiiiiine. And I said 'yea ikr?' and them we had sex. The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapte 2  
>We wer all havng a god time when 4 nor reson at all instoped in my tracx. 'what us it?' Asked edwerd sexilyy. "My spidr sences r tinglin" (dis is al part o bein a vampre) i sad consernd. edwerd loked concrned. 'oh cool tgats cool what's it?' He asked. I loked concerned. 'I dont kniw but wut i do no is gbat its EVIIL!'<br>'Gaspp!' Sad edwerd concrned. we git up from the flior. a crepy guy in a blak trentch coatt wlked up 2 us.  
>edwerd bite him + he scremed!<br>Bht it torned out 2 be jakob!  
>'Oh no!? HE said. 'im a vampre now!' we all gaspd cncrened. 'Oh wrll, campres are cool so idc. we nodded understandedly butbwe where still concrnd. theb jakob looked sikc. so edwerd trleportd us 2 the hospitle and kapb hot better.<br>The End!


	3. Chapter 3

Chaptr 3

Jakob wuz bettr but he had 2 stay in da hospitl 4 a wile so me and edwerd had som sex amd den we got sum cofee. jt wwas good but not as good S tge sez. So the. We we f 2 see jakob and he fave us all his mony becawse he wus did dieing. So we webt to acros the stret and we bot lits of suff. I git 100;7472964628029363829:7;& shos! Then us hjt my heD and edwerd used his shit as a banodayed becaus he ruped it of of him. I thoght it was sexxy si we had sexcx. 'Tii bad jakob dyed' siad edwered cincrnd. I nided byt we conntinued 2 do it.  
>The End!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Chap 4  
>We wer very tirde so we went 2 bed. Dat nite i had vere strang vison. Sombody wuz talkin 2 me and sayin stuf dat made no sence. Da next mornig i told edwerd al abot my vison. "U wer dreaminn he sad" it wad proboby tru but i wuz a bit scard. Me and edwerd use sum of jakob mony 2 by brekfest i had tost he had pancaks. I use 2 like pacaks but i dont no more cuz. We wantd sum blodd but we touht it wood lok weir d and stuf. Aftr r brekfas we had sex.<br>The end!


	5. Chapter 5

I almos forget tgat i was a vampre so i wantd 2 try out fling so that dat i wen 2 a clif + i julped of. Hur i fidnt turn in2 a bat do i scremed + edwerd turnd in2 a bat + swoopd down + piked men up + saved me. I cryed.

"Y cant i tern in2 a bat? I askd" it takes pratise replid edwerd. I cryed sum more but edwerd tok of his cloths amd ee had sex amd dat chered me up.

Sinc i waz heppy i felt lik i should go + di stuf so i wen and shoped 4 cloths amd stuf. It wuz fun.

Dat nite, tho, da fun stopd. I had nother vison wif da same fing. I wuz scarred and i wok up screming. Somfing big waz gonna hapen soon, amd i wuz gonna be part o it.

The End!


	6. Chapter 6

Evry nite 4 a week i had da same vison, amd evry day me an edwerd had sex. Da days alwas cheer me up, but nites r so hard dat i bang my hed on a wal.

Edwerd didn belive dat the visons wer real and dat i was just havin a bad dreem, so i was kinda mad a him amd ya but den we had sez and stuf so dats good.

(1 nite i had da vison agan but dis time wen i woke up somthing didn feel rite. I felt vere lonly, den i relized edwerd waz gon!

Gasp i sad but den i realised dat he waz probaby havin water so i got up amd wen 2 da batroom 2 see. Edwerd waz not der!

Wat coud hav hapened? Den i saw a note on da table. I red it. Oh no! I said.

The end!


	7. Chapter 7

I needs 2 lok 4 edwerd so i rournd in2 a bat amd i dlew to jakobs hose.  
>"Hey jakob" i sad flietily.<br>"Hey" he aad concrnd. Edwerd is ded j said concrnd. "Oh no its ok " jakob said 2 me so i cryed and we had sex and it waz fun so we had sun mor ajd i waz heppy becase it was goid ans so i had som  
>More and jt was relly good. (Iv never had sex meself but i imahin dis is wat its lik) Eventally tho i rmembrd edwerd so i was sad and jakob was ded as wel so i was relly depresed so i bang my hed aganst the wall. Tger wAs lits if blood! Oh shit noooooo! I cryed heplily and so j went back 2 edwerds houze and he was there. So we kised and i felt beter. Den we had sex. It waz vere fun amd stuf. I wantd to invte jakob so we cood hav a 3some but he waz ded and i waz sad.<br>The End.


	8. Chapter 8

Then i relized whar the visuon was!  
>"Edwerd!"! I yeld cincrned!<br>Then Edwerd saD "What?"  
>Thrn i sad "its youre dad!"<br>And he aas "what?"  
>And i sAd "yea"<br>Yhen he sad: "but my dad dyed duriung child bitth."  
>And i sad "ik buy he is not ded be is a vampir now!"<br>:0 ! Sad edwerd. He liked concerened! So i caled up jakob.  
>"Jakob! Me and edwerd need u! We need 2 look 4 his dad!"<p>

Jakob was concrnd so he telaported 2 us.  
>"Wat r we gonning 2 do?!" He sad concrened!<br>"We r gonning 2 look 4 him!" I sad. Concerened!  
>Si we pAcked all of are food and otther stuf so we cold Look for gge dad"<p>

Si we left + thrned in2 bats! And flyed of 2 look 4 him!  
>Im do wirryed about my dad!" Saud wdwerd concrened!"<br>"I kniw u r edwerd but we eill save him frim the wherewolfs" i sad concnd.  
>"Ok"<br>Sp we wdnt 2 WHEREWOLF TERITORYYYYY!  
>The End!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Wherwolfs r kinda scary cuz dey r big and furrie amd dey has big teef. I wood nevr hav sex wif a whwolf unles its jakob cuz hes sexe. Me and edwerd had 2 save edwerds dad form a pack off wolfs and it waz so scarry dat ee were cryin abd stuf and it waz scarry. We waz at da edg off da wolf teritory amd we wer tring 2 figur out how 2 get in wiffout bein seen. Suddaly 1 of da wereols saw us!

Da good fing waz dat der waz no full moon so da werwof waz relly just a guy dat waz a little harry. He sad "hey wazzup" and wa sad "wazzup" amd da eerewolf left.

We started serching 4 edwerds dad but den da moon cam out! All da peopl tutned in2 wolfs! Dey startd rippin da flesh of of edwerd!  
>The end!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh no!" I scremed as da wherewolfs  
>Bite me! Edwerd bite tge wherewolfs so dey all did dyed!<br>"Were is my mom?" Sad edwerd concerened! We loled around, but he was not theyre! So we ernt yo mcdonalds and i had a big mac and he had a 1/4 pundr! The the mcfonalds guy jumpad outband bite  
>Edwerd! He was a wherewolf! Edwerd ceyed so i punchd the guy! And he dyed! Then we had sccecx! Aw ywahhhhh! Then wr retorned to wherewolf territory so we cood krep loking 4 edwerds dad.<p>

Y dont we check ovr her sad jakob? We shod split op i sad. We cheked evry inch iff da plac but we didnt fond edwerds dad. Den we saw sonthing in da dirt! It sad dat edwerds dad wad in da unitd stats! Oh no we sad cuz da stats r full of fat peeple!  
>The end!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

We had 2 prapare 4 r trip 2 da usa. "Mericans r lazy sad edwerd but neary all of dem hav guns." I cryed cuz i didnt want 2 be shot but den i relised dat dey probaby didnt just shot peeple 4 no reason. I was scarred tho so we went 2 by sum armor and wepons. We desided 2 fly as bats 2 da stats. We flu 2 da stat of mcdonelds were i senced his dad.

"Were do u tink my dad is?" Asked edwerd concerened.  
>"Over theyre!" I exclamed. I ponted 2werds a humongus billding. It was red an had a gyant yelow M on top.<br>"Mcdonelds" brethed jakob. It was the wite house!  
>"This is gonning 2 be daingeros." I cryed. Obama mcdoneld was theyre!<br>He had a lazer gun and he zaped jakob and jakob dyed!  
>"NOIOOOOOIOIIOIOOOO!" I scremed! Jakob fel 2 da grond, moshonless. I cryed but then we had sexcx and i felt bettr and he waz<br>Ok so we killed osama bindonald and savd da wurld! But were waz his dad?!

The End!


	12. Chapter 12

Chaptr qw

We kiled Obsama but edwerds dad waz still missin so we new dat he must hav ben movd from da stat of mcdonlds 2 sumwere else. What othr places r in da stats beside da stat of mcdonlds? i asked. Wat about mexico sad jakob. No, lets go 2 da stat of Orlando! sad edwerd. Well find ma dad in disnyland!

We al terned in2 bats amd flew 2 on da way dere jakob dyed bcuz he ghot choped up in a airplane engin so we cryd and then has bat sexxc. So anyways after we greeved and stuif we wen2 disny and der we saw miky mouse and then we saw goofy and then we saw donald but not ronald mcdoneld the acytual duk guy and then we saw minie miuse and then we saw oluto and then we saw evertyojemd else o we had a good time and them we went on the rids. Jakob liked t6he honted mansion. I like the teecup merigorond. thing. edwerd liked its a smal world. so anyways we startd 2 lok 4 edwerds dad but themn we goto couht by da american popo! they had gunsn!~!~! and we dyed! i went 2 hell but themn i bet up satan and retourned ro the heaven but then i bet up god so i returned 2 disny and we had a giood time

the end+


	13. Chapter 13

**(AN: srry bout da last few chaptrs, thot u guys mite want sumting funny. Dis chaptr goes bak 2 sereousness)**

So we startd 2 look 4 edwerds dad. But he wAz nowere 2 be fond.  
>"I give up!" Exclamed edwerd, angarily. I shook my hed.<br>Edwerd was relly emoshionel. I neded 2 help him, i neded 2 untie him w/his dad! I ponted at him.  
>"Edwer lik dis?!" I shited. He cryed. He waz all shinny becaz th sun waz hot. He waz also pail and relly sexey.<br>"Edwerd i no dat dis is relly hard 4 u, but we need 2 keep loking. Edwerd nodded sadly. We got sum mcdonlds amd we traveld on thru da states.  
>1 day we wer walkin down da stret wen we saw a wherewolf runnin 2 a firest! Maybe dats were ur dad is cryed jakob! We run after da wolf in2 da woods. We cood here howlin in da distanse. Der must be a woof pack neerby! I sad. Edwerd cryed. "What if der eatin my dad?" He sad. We cryd concrnd. We kept lookin 4 his dad. Edwerd was stil cryin so i made out wif him. Den we had sex aganst a tree. We wer sad but it frlt good amd at dat momemt, der waz peace<br>The end!


	14. Chapter 14

We fnished up da secx and den we continud da serche 4 edwerds dad. We herd sum howlin and woofin and stuf so we folowed da noise. I wuz scarred.  
>"Wat uf its not ur rad edwerd?" I asked concrened.<br>"Its ok ill prowtekt u" he sId sexcxily. So we continud our searche for hit dad. It took alot of energee.  
>Suddaly, jakob fell down. "Oh god" he sAd. "I cant keep goin. Just leav me her!" Jakon! We cryed. We cant go wiffout u! Well stay wif u till da end jakob. Sad edwerd. Jakob just lay der dying. We closd his eys. His brething stoped. Me and edwerd cryed. We had sad sex. Den we walkd furthr thru da woods.<br>Little did we no dat a lif changin event waz abot 2 go dowm.


	15. Chapter 15

We amd edwerd went thru da woods. It waz dark and scarry. I waz scarred. So waz edwerd. So waz jakob. Da werwolvs had edwerds dad, we wer sure off it. All off a suddnly da werwolfs jumped out! Dey wer harry and scarry amd not sexy at all. Jakob waz embaresed dat he waz 1 of dem. dey started tryin 2 eat us. We punced dem in da fac. Den we saw somfing. Edwerds dad! His face waz purple and da wolfs wer eatin his legs.  
>"Noooooooooooooooooo!" Sad edwerd. Da wolfs draged edwerds dad 2 der privat jet amd dey flu away.<br>Edwerd cryed. So did jakob. So did i. "Wher da fuck r dey goin" edwerd scremd. "I dont fuckin no!" I sad. We decide 2 jump on2 da plain. We waz goin sumwere. I dont no wer, but we wer goin.


	16. Chapter 16

Chaptr X- da hidden secrets

**Hey ciera r ur just jelose of my mad skillz hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa**

Anyways Chapter X- da hidreen chaptr  
>Ya so we where on da pivit jet and den it landexd in russiza and dey where drinkin vodka and so we drunk some and we got drank so we had drank sexc. All da people der had big fluffy hats amd dey were comunizts so we wer all scarred and den da werwolfs got out off da plain amd in2 tanks dat da russons had and dey startd shootin at us! A missile hit jakob! Amd he dyed! We new dat edwerds dad waz on da plane, so we went insid. Edwerds dad waz not der! He waz still in america! We herd a lock clik behind us. Oh noooooooooii! We scremd. We wer traped in da plain. We cood here da wolfs circlin aroun outside off da plain. Me and edwerd had sex becuz we didnt no wat else 2 do. We waz sad. We thot of edwerds dad. We thot of jakob. How cood dis hav happnd 2 us?<br>The end


	17. Chapter 17

We scremed! Edwerd cryed and so did me. How can we es cape dis! I sad. I dont no! Sad edwerd. "Wait, i hav a idea! I sad. I ran 2 da cock pit. I sat insid off it. I put ma handz on da weel. "What r u doin?" Askd edwerd. "Ya dont even no how 2 fli!" "I no" i scremed. We flu in2 da air. We almos mad it back 2 da unitd stats, but we fell in2 da osean! "Noooooooooooooooooooooioioooooo!" I scremed. Jakob startd 2 choke. He waz drownin! "O my god jakob no!" Scremed edwerd. "I luv u!" Jakob sloly sank deep in2 da see. We cryed. We swim 2 shor. We went 2 lok 4 edwerds dad, cuz he must still be her. We miss jakob. We had sexc. Edwerds sexy.  
>The end!<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Chap 18

Edwerds dad waz stil missin amd we hadd no clu wer 2 look. Da werwolfs wer somewher, anywa we swum 2 da sure amd we wer bak in Merica amd we need 2 lok 4 edwerds dad so we split upp amd jakob wen 1 way and me amd edwer wend da oter way. We wer goin down da road but den i startd 2 cry. "Bellla wats rong" askd edwerd concernd. "I didmt want any off dis 2 happn! I scremed cuz i want a normel live amd i hate dis. Ur dad is still miss and i luv u so much but i luv u!1"

"Butt bela i luv u 2! He sad. He took of his clotfs amd den i did 2 amd we had sexx. Later we startd 2 go on da road agen but wen we went we saw jakob! He waz ded!1111. "O no, da wolvs mustv got him" edwerd scremed. I cryd, amd edwerd loked sad so i had sex wif him .

The end


	19. Chapter 19

Ch 19

Suddaly I fell 2 the groundd. I thot i waz ded, but i waz just havin a nother vison. I scremed.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" I sad. "Bell wats rong" askd edwerd. I had an horible vison i sad. "Oh kool wat waz it?" I told edwerd dat i saw all of us in pane amd we wer dyin!

"Oh no!" Sad edwerd Becuz i like 2 b alive!" We startd 2 cry amd jakob waz cryin 2 and i waz so frickin sad!1111

Wen do ypu tink da vision will happn? Sad jakob?

I dont no." I sad. "But edwerd, we shoodnt stop lookin 4 ur dad." "I no" sniffed edwerd.

We walkd down da road all deprezzed amd sadly and den we found da wolf pak! "OMG do dey hav ma dad?" Scremed edwerd! Da wolfs jumpd out and startd 2 atack us! Help we scremed! Da wolfs wer very hungry so edwerd gave dem a stake. We startd 2 sneek away, but jakob got caugt on a branch. Da wolvs 8 him!111. Edwerd punched a wolv in da fac and der waz blood amd stuf so we drank it cuz we r vampirs. Den we kiked sum wolfs. Dey howld cuz dey wer in pain and sum of dem dyed. Edwerd took out his gun an den he shooted it at dem. dey wer sad cuz dey die. But den...…... Da king wolf came!111

The end!


	20. Chapter 20

"AHHHH!" I sad. I was bewyldred. Da king wolf wax woofin and runnin 2werds us! Edwerd scremed and grabed the wulf by the hand and twistd it. The wolf scremed (i no dis herts bcuz it happen 2 me b4) and beged 4 mercy.

"no way!" siad edwerd, angerily. "U r a jurk and u hert Jakob!" The wolf grrred. Jakob weped on da ground. His pants were bleding bad + he was sad.

"Wat if we mak a deel?" sad wolf king. Edwerd sqinteed his eyes untrustingly.

"I listenin." The wulf looked at him and smyled.

"U r lookin 4 ur dad, yeah?" I gaseped. The wulf new about Jakob's dad! Edwerd fruwnd.

"MayB I am." The wolf king laffed heartily.

"I have sum info. Secret info.'

"O no way wat is it?" i sad. Well sad da wolv "ur dad is da CUNT!"

OMG da count!?" Sad edwerd?

"Ya, also I ate him" sad da wolf king. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Sad edwerd. He was cryin amd i startd 2 cry 2. So did Jakob. "Well, tanks a lot. U kiled my onley famly member! Well, now im gonna tak u down!1111111

The End!


	21. Chapter 21

Edwerd waz angry and he was aboat to kiil da king wolf wen suddnly justin troodo jumpd out frum behind a bush. U could tell he was a werwolf cuz of his sexxy hare. "Hi i am president of canada and u will die now!" He scremed and decapitatd da king wolf and he dies. Suddaly, da Count (frum sezme stret) jumped out of da body of da wolf. I t was edwerds dad!

"Daddy!" Scremed edwerd. "U alive!"

"Cum at me sun," tw cunt held his arms out wide so that edwerd could cum 2 him."

I looked at troodo up & dpwn and i thouht about doing the dirty as my uncle rodger say but i did not becuz i am a vampopire and if i had has sexx with him he 2 wpuld b cum a vampre. Well anyway we were all super happy cuz edwerd found his dad so 2 celerbrate we all had sex amd it was realy sexxy and fun. Then me, edwerd, jakob, da count, and troodo left da unitd stats of mcdonalds and returneded home 2 canada were we hadmore sex but jakob was injured in the fight wif da wolfs and died but he was alright though so we continue having secs. Da morale of dis story is dat doneld rump should be prez.

The End (4 reel dis time)


End file.
